My life has changed forever.....

It is true.

Joshua started school yesterday, and now life, as I knew it, has changed.

I'm sorry if this is all mushy, but really, I have been so much more sentimental about this than I thought I would be.

I cry even now as I write about it!

Yeah, I'm a bawl baby, it's a fact, let's move on.... :)

Here is Joshua the morning of his first day of school!

He was so excited, 'and a little nervous', as he would tell everyone.

I was A LOT nervous.

Daddy got up early just to make him Cinnamon Twists....

which Joshua was to nervous/anxious to eat! :)

Thanks anyway, Dad!

Our Kindergarten Man, all ready to go:

I love his smile in that picture.

It's his true, 'I'm really happy right now' smile.

That was a good sign. :)

And then Grace and I took him to school.

(I have to interject a little story about why Bryan wasn't there. So Bryan had been planning all along to go with us to take JBG to school that day. The night before school starts one of the Attorneys calls and asks Bryan if he can be at a docket call the next morning in a town that is over an hour away. Due to a short moment of Amnesia, you know, that happens sometimes, Bryan forgets what the next day is! I'm in the other room and I hear Bryan say "yeah, sure, I don't have anything tomorrow morning, I can do that." I'm thinking - WHAT?! But it is too late. He gets off the phone and realizes what tomorrow is, but it was too late to do anything about it..... we were very sad. Joshua, of course, was fine with it, he was just excited he is going to school. But Bryan and I were SO sad we couldn't all do this together! So he was there in spirit!)

Here is Joshua in front of his school.

He was so excited, but the closer we got to the classroom the more you could see the nervousness creep into his face!

We helped him hang up his bag and lunchbox, and then there was nothing to do but hug him and walk away....so we did.

But then we stood in the hall to watch for a minute and make sure he was okay. It took him a few minutes to work up the nerve to play with the other kids. He just kind of stood there and watched for a minute.

Finally he sat down and he looked up and caught us watching him!

Grace and I then went to the library for a "Tears and Cheers" meeting for kindergarten parents with the booster club and principal. On the way out we went and peeked at Joshua one more time, and this is what we found:

Sitting at his desk coloring away like an old pro.
(He caught us peeking at him again!)
We stopped at the office on our way out and I ran into the librarian, who happens to be in our ward. She's a sweet lady, and bless her heart, she told me she'd check on him for me.
I could have hugged her right then and there, but then I would have started crying, which would have ruined my goal of making it back to the car before I gave in to that, so I didn't hug her.
But I was sure grateful to see her there.
See, we've only lived here for a year, so we don't know all that many people in the community, mostly people from church. We have three kids from church start kindergarten at this school this year, and the other two are together in a different class. So Joshua didn't know a single person in that room, and it was SOOO hard for me to leave him there knowing that.
I think it will really end up being a good thing for him, a good way for him to make more friends and for me to meet more people in the community, but, gosh, it made leaving him hard.
So I was so gratful when Marie offered to check on him. It meant a lot.
And I really did make it back to the car before I cried.....
then I bawled all the way home.
Grace gave me a hug and told me I needed to try not to cry...
thanks, Grace, that made me smile through my tears, at least!
Thankfully the day went quickly and before we knew it we were on our way to pick him up.
{I will admit, though, that during the day I checked the answering machine several times, certain that he would need me and the school would have called...no such luck! :) }
He had a great time, he was telling me all about PE and Music and Recess and the pictures they colored and about how he didn't really eat all of his lunch he just threw it away :), and how he played with his classmates, but he couldn't remember their names.
And now each day is just another day of school for him.
Already this morning he didn't want to get out of bed so early!
And today he remembered a classmate's name....Betty.
So for him it's old hat now.
But for me it is still an adjustment.
I miss the sound of my kids playing together.
{Another confession: after he got home today and they were playing together I snuck a video of it so I could always have that sound - I told you I am extremely sappy and blubbery about this!}
Grace follows me around like a mostly silent shadow.
I don't think either of us are quite sure what to do without him.
But we will figure it out, I am certain, and we'll probably play A LOT of Candyland and Go Fish!
She's going to be my right hand woman, that girl.
I am looking forward to some one-on-one time with her, we have never really had that.
But y'all just better pray that I have another baby to keep me company by the time she goes to kindergarten.....or I'll really be a MESS then!